She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
