Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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