I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
cat food counts as protein by the way
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
