so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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