The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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