No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
