i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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