I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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