1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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