Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
