DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
