why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I could make wine with my vomit
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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