I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's shark week go big or go home
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
