In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
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He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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