I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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