i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
