i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."