I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
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my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
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Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.