Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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