Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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