How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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