Where did you get a picture of my penis
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
