absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
