What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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