Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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