I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
