I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
