My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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