you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
