Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
