Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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