Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
