Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
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There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
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That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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