just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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