my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize