Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
