it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
