the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it was like eating out sand paper
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
