Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
