Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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