I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
