Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
