I showed him my bush... on skype.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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