Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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