I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
