she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
