I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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