Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
