Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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