i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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