Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
