hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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