Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
