I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
