I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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