Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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