No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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