theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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