I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
