You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I am available for nakedness
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