So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
