Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
